I am cautious about recommending parenting books because not all children are alike. Neither, of course, are all parents. We all come with are own histories, strengths, and limitations. There is no parenting book that can give all the answers for every situation. However, here are some books that I think are useful. They offer strategies for minimizing the frustration and accentuating the joy of parenting. And most of what the authors have to say is applicable to most families.

The Secret of Parenting
Anthony Wolf, PhD.

This short, easy read explains some of the central dilemmas of parenthood. “Why does my child behavior better for outside of the house than he does at home?” “Why does my child ignore my instructions by listen to Dad?” (Hint: itʼs not because Dad is a better parent.) A useful frame work for understanding parent/child dynamics and avoiding power struggles while staying firmly in control.

How to Talk So Kids Will Listen & Listen So Kids Will Talk
Adele Faber and Elaine Mazlish

A great book on effective communication with children. Offers multiple strategies for getting your point across without yelling or nagging. Also helps parents learn to respond to children in ways that encourage them to speak up rather than shut down.

Siblings Without Rivalry
Adele Faber and Elaine Mazlish

Of course this book cannot really deliver on the promise of its title. If you have more than one child, there will be rivalry. But this book does offer concrete strategies to avoid being drawn into their struggles, thus freeing them to develop relationships based on something other than getting your goat.

Get Out of My Life, but First Could You Drive Me & Cheryl to the Mall: A Parent’s Guide to the New Teenager
Anthony Wolf, Ph.D.

Living with teenagers can be baffling. This book helps parents understand and respond to every teens central dilemma: “How do I stay connected to my parents while forging an identity strong enough to allow me to move out?” Simple, straightforward, and humorous.

The Blessing Of A Skinned Knee: Using Jewish Teachings to Raise Self-Reliant Children
Wendy Mogel, Ph.D.

A beautifully written book on the pitfalls of over indulging and over-protecting our children. Dr. Mogel uses wisdom from ancient Jewish text to frame her lessons for modern parents. But one need not be Jewish, or even religious to benefit from these ideas.

Reading to children is often promoted as a way to help children become reader themselves. And it does. But that is not the only—or even most important—reason to read to your child. Reading together promotes parent-child closeness. It is soothing and helps both parent and child calm down at the end of the day. It allows you to share ideas and emotions with your child. It allows you to explore together solutions to ancient and modern dilemmas of being human. Storytelling itself is very much a part of what makes us human. Picture books, and later chapter books, are a marvelous entry into this ancient art.

The Runaway Bunny
Margaret Wise Brown

Too Noisy
Sonja Lamut

Hooray, A Pinta

Baby Brains
Simon James

Sooo Much

Mama Do You Love Me?
Barbara M. Joosse

The Story of Ferdinand
Umbrella
Taro Yashima

Adoption:

I Love You Like Crazy Cakes
Rose A. Lewis

The Surprise Family
Lynn Reiser

The Day We Met You
Phoebe Koehler

Flap Your Wings
P.D. Eastman

Death:

Where Are You?
Laura Olivieri

Lifetimes: The Beautiful Way to Explain Death to Children
Bryan Mellonie

Butterflies From Heaven
Jennifer Minetti

The Out of Sync Child Has Fun
Carol Stock Kranowitz, MA
Great activities for helping children develop body awareness and control. Also great boredom busters for summer and weekend afternoons.

The OK Book,  It’s OK to Be Different,  The Feeling Book,  The Family Book
Todd Parr
Great books for exploring difference and supporting self esteem. Underlying message of all these book; It’s OK to be who you are, to have the family you have, to have the feelings you have. Bold silly illustrations throughout.

Feelings
Susan Canizares
Great book for discussing feelings, matching feelings with body language and facial expression.

Hand, Hand, Fingers, Thumb
Al Perkins
Your kids love this book. I used it only once but they ask for it every week. Great for body awareness and control.

Where the Wild Things Are
Maurice Sendak
A Classic. Explores wild feelings, containment, and self-control. But don’t tell the kids—they just thinks its a great book. Have your kids act out the story by playing the parts of wild things and Max.

The Monster at the End of this Book
Jon Stone, illustrated by Mike Smollin
A fun way to look at excessive worry.

No, David!
David Shannon
A fun romp through some out of control behavior. Allows children a guilt-free look at their own misbehavior. Includes a great message about unconditional parental love.